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Ladies, if you find yourself asking your male companion that killer trick question "do I look fat", then let’s be honest, you are doing so for one of four reasons: you are fat, you are feeling fat, you are vain, or you are in need of attention. And if you haven’t figured it out already, you should know that any man worth his salt has learned one thing: to answer certain female trick questions immediately, firmly, and with a clear, riveted gaze. It is all about the rudimentary, involuntary-reflex response, "No. You look perfect!" It is not an answer, but simply a male maneuver to buy another minute until one can figure out for which reason the question was asked in the first place. And most men, even the most boorish, know the various permutations of the trick question too. For instance, the indirect method: "Do these jeans look too tight?" "No. They fit perfect." Or the slick double-secret-probation approach: "Do you still love me, even though I’ve gained weight?" "Yes I do. And you look perfect." Or the subtle non-question question: "I think I need to go on a diet." "No you don’t. You look perfect." There can be no hesitation, no darting eyes, no mincing of words when the response is given. If one does, one deserves to become the sorry sack of shittolla one is about to become. My theory is that men whose fathers or mothers did not prepare them falter exactly once. Depending on the female partner, the offender is either killed (the lightest sentence), or treated to a year of hard time, at the conclusion of which the guilty party either has learned all the correct rudimentary involuntary-reflex responses or has joined the gay ranks or has become a monk vowed to a life of silence. Well no matter how one gets there, for guys in the know, the rudimentary involuntary-responses are the easy part, after all they are as routine as lifting up the toilet seat—another gem that was hopefully hammered into us in our formative years. The hard part is trying to figure out the real reason for the question and choosing what the appropriate follow-up response is. To enlighten those males who have not advanced to this stage, let me help you, let me show you the logic, let me give you hope. Let’s walk through this together. There’ll be fanny pats at the end if you get it. So the trick question is asked. We immediately regurgitate the appropriate robotic response. We have about a minute to figure out her reason for asking and if a follow-up is required. That moment of male mental gymnastics is more tension packed than the last episode of 24. As daunting as it might seem, it’s not so bad if we break it down like any other business problem. 1. She actually is fat. Beware! She ISN’T interested in your confirmation. She probably just got a glimpse of herself in a mirror, is feeling really lousy about, but uninterested in doing anything about. If she were interested in doing something about it, trust me she wouldn’t be asking you for an opinion! Unless you want a situation, it’s best to leave this one alone and say nothing in follow-up. And just in the event that you are toying with the idea of saying something that even slightly acknowledges her extra pounds, take an honest look at yourself first. There is a good chance you aren’t winning any Mr. Olympia trophies soon. So grab a bag of cheese doodles and take your lard-ass to the couch, lest you say something you will regret. 2. She feels fat. This is a ticklish one at first but in the end is as simple as number 1 above. She may feel fat because she is fat in which case she may be coming to grips with her fatness. That might be a good thing. Let her be; say nothing after the usual required response. The other possibility is that she might just plain feel some of that there bloating issue women get around that pre-you-not-what-but-I’m-not-allowed-to-say-because-it’s-sexist-but-really-not-because-it’s-true time. If this is the case, a poorly timed darting glance down at her belly could be suicidal. Don’t do it no matter how temptingt! Even if she lifts her belly-shirt and points. Don’t look! Stay focused and reaffirm the rudimentary involuntary-reflex response by changing it up a bit, "Get outta here: "am I fat"! You look perfect! If anyone’s fat it’s me!" Then volunteer to fold her underwear. Do something. Get out of there lickitty split. 3. She is vain. This is a tough one for me personally. If she is thin as rail and is just vacuuming for loose compliments, I have a tendency to want to give her something to think about; really feed into her low self esteem that seems so willfully misplaced. Again, it’s best to fight the urge, shut your hole and be glad it’s not a real issue. There are two corollaries to this though. If this trick question stuff is a recent development, one may want to nip it in the bud before one ends up with someone who is vain all the time—not a very good thing. The standard knee-jerk response may be rewarding bad behavior subconsciously. After your minute of thinking is up, you might want to follow-up with the direct approach, "You know, I sense a little vanity there. Are you becoming a little vain? Feeling pretty good about yourself aren’t you?" Give her a chance to react. She probably will flash a little devilish grin, the type that acknowledges she has been caught. You then close with, "Nothing wrong with feeling good about yourself and occasionally fishing for a compliment. And sweetie, I’d compliment you all day long, if I didn’t think that it would eventually swell that pretty head of yours up so big that it starts to clunk off the walls and furniture and stuff; breaking the family crystal and all. That would be terrible." Ah, the beauty of a little disarming humor. In the other scenario, if you find yourself on the down-side of the relationship with the self-absorbed twit and looking to speed up the inevitable, you might say casually, "Yeah, I’ve noticed those little bulges in your lower back. But they’re not so bad. No one’s perfect anyway." Then see if you can walk out of the room without a ring bouncing off your balding skull. The beauty of this retort is that she can’t see what you playfully pointed out—short of setting up a room full of mirrors anyway. It’s effective, satisfying and guaranteed the desired results. Plus you’ll be able to hock the ring she threw at you for some cold poker cash. 4. She needs attention. This is the most prickly reason she might be asking and not easily recognized by "X & Y" humans. Chances are she isn’t overweight. Chances are you might deduce falsely "she feels fat" because it’s that time of you-know-what-because-I-can’t-say-month. Before you settle on that or any other conclusion for that matter, take a few seconds more. Could it be that she just wants to know she is attractive to you because you have been so self absorbed with work or football or your thinning hair that you haven’t in the past year at least once looked her in the eye and told her she is the most beautiful person in your world? If she has to demean herself this way to check in on your attention, the fat she is referring to is from the heavy tumor you have become on her self esteem. And if you have even the slightest pang that this might be true, that she may need attention, you better drop whatever lame thing it is that you are doing, praise her up and down and make a mental note not to allow her to sink to this lowly place again. She may ask only once or twice more before she decides you are malignant and opts for immediate, radical surgery to remove the cancerous growth you’ve become. By the way, women don’t have a lock on trick questions. Men do the same thing, just about male stuff. For instance, a man might mumble within earshot after coming out of the shower, "I wish my penis were bigger." It may not be in the form of a question but this isn’t Jeopardy either. It sure as hell is a cry for a little simpleminded ego building. Something like, "honey, you could jack up an eighteen wheeler with that thing" would go a long way. I suppose lesbian and gay couples eventually dive down (so to speak) into the same sad depths with equally problematic maneuvers. The truth is I really don’t know what the answer is to avoid the certainty of these trick questions. Honesty in communication feels right and is even noteworthy but it’s not always effective. "Am I fat?" "Honey, you get any fatter and we’ll have to pay resident taxes to two states!" or "I wish my penis were bigger." "You and me both! It’s like reading Braille with my vagina." I suppose a simple "yes you are" or nod of agreement would be a better way to be honest without the immediate blood shed; the key word being "immediate." But eventually honesty will require your blood to flow. So what is it we can do differently from scripting our escape? I guess nothing. Maybe it is just a condition of human relationships. I just can’t help but think though there is a better way. In the meantime, I’ll continue to brush up responses to new and improved trick questions. There is no time to relaxing, letting our guard down. "Is my butt sagging?" "Sagging? Are you kidding me? You could crack walnuts with that thing." Not bad! pnis enlargement surgery picture natural penis enlargment technique permanent penis enlarement penile enlargment product natural penis enargement technique do penile enlargement pills really work vimax penis enlargement procedure free penile enlargment video

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This government's new controversial plan to educate and tell our babies all about the birds and the bees. And comments from Deidre Sanders has impelled me to write this article. As young as five years of age, kiddies are to be primed for lessons on sex related issues in hope to help lower the number in teen pregnancies. For gods sake we are talking about babies here who struggle to count to 10 as it is, without number 10 sticking its oar in. At least let the children hit puberty where their understanding is a slight clearer before this action is made law. Research has proven that early education on matters as such, has helped teenagers to hold back on their urge to sample a taste of two becoming one. The plan is expected to omit facts on genital warts etc and just provide details on the context of real life relationships not delving into the nitty gritty human plumbing as it was put, so the good news is, our babies escape listening to all the gory details that can result from unprotected sex. If and when it comes into force and your child starts to show bodily interest in the opposite sex, then surely he/she has the right to know all the gruesome facts. Awareness should be top priority on the list of importance for fear of our children becoming involved with infected partners. The sad thing is not many carriers know that they have an STD and therefore are unaware to the hazardous health risks that they may generate through sexual contact. The horrors of unsafe sex STDs genital warts an all is most certainly a deterrent giving kids second thoughts before going back for a seconds. Highlighting the pain and heartache from unsafe sex on a more serious note may help prevention; it is not to be ignored. Tell me what 5 year old is going to give up their Barbie doll/remote control car for a bit of the other. What next a condom in their lunch box. No doubt views will differ on this matter, some parents will welcome this decision then there will be the strongly opposed majority. It seems from the snippet read; apparently parents can not rely on telling their children that underage sex is unacceptable. Teaching infancy minded innocent children on what their bits are for may cause problems. Give a kid a bike he/she will ride it, give a piece of chocolate they will eat it, give them the ingredients like a penis/vagina/male/female then you have the perfect recipe for an early pregnancy, who knows even at the early age of 5 years old. Our government already have our children walking round like little Joe Nineties (Boffins) I am totally aware of the importance of education for our families but teaching our kids on how to play mummies/daddies before they can even pronounce the very words, is beyond me. As a protective parent I would like to think that I still have the right as a mother to teach my kids right from wrong. And what I see right for my child is what nature intended, to grow up and have a have a childhood. Parents will always rely on the advice they give to their children, whether they listen is a different matter. Hearsay has it to say goodbye to the good old rubber dummy and make way for the new pacifier a rubber sheath. penis enlargment excersizes vimax penis pills in uk penile enlargment surgery picture buy penis enlagement pills penis enlargement excersizes penis enhancement exercise pnis enlargement program compare penis enlargment pills natural penis enlargment technique

Have you ever wondered why so many women and men get breast cancer? After much research there are 3 main reasons why and how people get it. 1. At the cancer institute they discovered that 100% of all breast cancer patients, none of them have iodine in their systems. The most enriched form of Iodine is seaweed. With all of the sushi sales in the past few years more and more people are eating seaweed so that will help a lot. 2. Deodorant is a major factor also. Try to only buy deodorants that contain no aluminum. You are rubbing aluminum into your arm pits daily, and that metal is good for no one ever! Only get deodorants that say deodorant and if it says antiperspirant then never buy it. Try not to cook with aluminum, throw away any Teflon pans that you own - and only use iron pans. 3. If you get pregnant then please nurse your baby if you are able. Try to nurse for at least 6 months. It is healthy for the baby and it will greatly reduce your risk for getting breast cancer. Studies show that longer you nurse the less likely you are to get it. So take care of your body and eat right. Drink lots of water at least 8 glasses a day, and no sodas. Try not to let your body get too stressed out and all will be well with you. And most importantly eat as much sushi as you can keep down- yummy! Breast Enlargement com enhancement penis penis pump homemade penis elargement cheapest pnis enlargement pills vimax pillss inch penis enlargement without pill cheap penile enlargement pills do penis enlargement pills work penis enlagement program natural penis enlargment technique

At a 35th birthday party for rapper P. Diddy in November of 2004, actress Tara Reid exposed more than just a left mammary; she exposed the truth about breast implant complications and the horrifying effect that breast augmentation surgery can have on a woman’s body. While she posed on the red carpet for photographers, the top of Reid’s dress fell, exposing her left breast and what looked like a completely reconstructed nipple. The actress, evidently mortified as photographers snapped pictures, fell prey to the all-too common complications associated with breast implant surgery. But, this wasn’t even the first time that Tara Reid’s breasts became water cooler fodder. Shortly after filming American Pie, the world noticed as her breasts grew from a measly A-cup to D-size overnight. It became immediately apparent to all of America that the actress underwent major breast implant surgery at the very young age of 18. At the time, no one realized the extent of the actress’ battle with her breast implants, probably due to some hard PR work on behalf of the actress. But, in 2004 as Reid and her augmented breast strolled down the red carpet on the way to Diddy’s 35th birthday bash, no amount of PR could hide the fact that the actress suffered from some horrific complications associated with her breast implants. Every year in this country, thousands upon thousands of women undergo some type of breast enhancement surgery, but thousands also have their breast implants removed due to associated complications that most commonly include breast implant rupture or shifting, to more serious complications such as chronic infection of the breast, in some cases leading to breast cancer. Luckily for the women who choose surgical methods of breast augmentation, no paparazzi follow them around, waiting patiently for a breast to slip and expose their secret breast implant complications. If America could feel the pain that everyday women experience for larger breasts on a regular basis, it would certainly result in a sharp decline in the number of breast implants performed by plastic surgeons each year, especially for women who decide to go under the knife at such a young age as actress Tara Reid. Fortunately today’s woman can choose from a veritable buffet of breast enhancement options. No longer do women need to suffer the horrific complications associated with breast implants in order to achieve the larger breasts that they desire. In today’s market, there are other safer, all-natural breast enhancement alternatives for a woman looking to increase the size of her breasts. These options boast safety for any woman, in an over-the-counter alternative, with none of the side effects or complications involved with breast implant surgery, and a fraction of the cost associated with breast enlargement surgery. As for Tara Reid, reporters now argue that the actress actually has the ugliest breasts in the world. But, it’s pretty apparent that the complications that the actress suffered due to her breast implants are more common than women want to admit. Fortunately, many women can look in the mirror happily and appreciate their natural breasts, and others who aren’t as happy with the way they look, choose safer, more natural breast enhancement methods of increasing their breast size. penile enlargement excersizes natural penis enhancement exercise pennis enlargement photo natural penis enlarement and lengthening vimax surgical penis enlargement natural penis enlargement vimax penis enlargement forum enlargement manhattan pennis natural penis enlargment technique

Whether at work or under the cover, men are under constant pressure to perform. Unfortunately, both men and women can place too much importance on this, and search out the fastest, easiest answers. Fortunately there's an alternative. By arming ourselves with information on the newest natural options, we can choose the best treatment for our individual needs. Viagra's fishy replacement? By now if you've heard of Bob Dole you've heard of Viagra. But have you heard of Irukandji? This soft and toxic jellyfish may soon be giving Viagra, and men everywhere, a very hard time. A sting from Irukandji causes intense pain in the limbs, cramps, vomiting, difficulty breathing, anxiety, and sometimes cardiac and lung problems. However, it also causes prolonged erection. Currently, this is a lousy trade off. Realizing this, Australian researcher Lisa Gershwin is attempting to separate the erection-causing feature. But don't be tossing your little blue pills just yet. More Irukandji need to be studied before an impotency medication can be manufactured. X-rated chewing gum Those wanting to build stronger sperm now have more options than loose boxers and cool temperatures. A simple green African plant may boost the power of the troops down under. Call it a miracle. Call it the khat plant. Lab tests at London's King College have found that sperm treated with cathine, a chemical in khat, became fertile faster and stayed that way longer. Though so far the studies are only on mice and rabbits, early human tests suggest a similar result. But before you get too excited, it's worthwhile knowing that potency through khat's cathine is currently the domain of researchers. Why? Munching on khat has potentially dangerous side effects like delusions and elevated pulse and blood pressure. Due to this, the current focus is on finding the right cathine concentration, and making sure it's safe for more than mice. Just breathe Occasional impotence is common and often caused by anxiety. Long term failure to function, though, is another matter. According to the UK's Sexual Dysfunction Association: "Until about 20 years ago, erectile dysfunction was considered to be caused almost entirely by psychological factors but we now know that physical conditions are present in about 75% of male sufferers." So unless you're very young or very stressed, impotence is probably not in your head. However, it may be in your glans. The glans, or head of the penis, needs a strong and constant flow of blood to stay stiff. This requires effective circulation. In short, if your blood isn't moving neither will your penis. Speedier circulation can be gained through a healthy diet and aerobic exercise. Deep breathing is another way to circulate. By bringing more blood to the lungs, more blood goes to the heart. This is a sweat-free way to strengthen both blood flow and phallus. P.C. isn't just politically correct Finding and working the PC, or pubococcygeus muscle, is a sure way to satisfy you and your partner. If you've ever had to stop in mid-stream while urinating, you've already exercised it. This muscle has another use. Training it develops sexual power. Authors of The Multi-Orgasmic Man; Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams Arava, state that training this muscle helps "strengthen your erections, intensify your orgasms, and separate your orgasms from ejaculation." To pump this muscle up, first locate it. Most men feel this muscle at their perineum, behind the testicles and ahead of the anus. Now inhale and focus on the prostate, perineum and anus. Next exhale and squeeze the muscle around your anus and prostate. Then release and relax. According to The Multi-Orgasmic Man, this exercise should be repeated 9 to 36 times. Performance plus Though it often takes center stage, the penis an overrated performer. Satisfying a woman also involves foreplay and sensitivity to her needs. No matter how potent you are, if these two things aren't also considered your partner will be looking at her watch rather than into your eyes.